I feel you...
He was contemplating this for a while, he made this to try this to escape his dark thoughts and desires, and when that didn't work this became his 'note' before he did the deed. He obviously didn't really have the heart for this which is why he took his own life. Guess how I know: experience. I was this way for 3 long, miserable, hate-filled years, I'm not ashamed to admit who I was & what I felt. This makes me believe that people live to kill other people, as in wars, and corrupt those that would not wish to live that way they do. Sorry, I got deep, but it saddens me to see people do things like this to eachother. I'm 14, I'm interested in human psychology, and might be next in line if I can't learn to repress the rage better, to anyone this review may unnerve, don't worry I'm in therapy and, starting to learn to let it out peacefully...